What is a relationship without trust
As I'm writing this down on my laptop, sitting in a video call with a girl, pondering about this relationship. She is sort of my girlfriend, not officially, but we know we like each other. So far it had been going just great, amazing even.
But I fucked up. And it resulted in her caring less about me, but not specifically saying how much. She enjoys me, but I'm left wondering what does she want from and what does she see in me. She likes me, I guess. And I like her, but I'm deeply unsatisfied with this situation. And I suppose I deserve it. I haven't done anything necessarily bad, but I just fuck up moments where she is in distress. And it breaks her, mentally.
I'm scared. I'm too scared to break up. And I'm too scared to ask her what I am. Because I don't want her to say "just a friend". And as I am writing this down, it does kind of make sense. I'm a dumbass and I probably don't deserve any kind of recognition. Although the people who know me the longest (my family) says I'm a good guy. It's starting to make me really doubt myself. Am I really a good guy?
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