Each human is irreplaceable and I hate it
The title might need some explanation. I ofcourse don't necessarily hate it, I just can't stand it. Atleast, in moments where I really hope something will work out.
It's really all just when you meet someone extremely interesting and captivating. The ones where you just click and feel a spark. The person where all your nervousness leaves your body when you see her waving at you from a distance. Those people, and in my case this specific girl, are amazing.
You feel there's something, not something you feel on the daily. Ofcourse this is most likely love. And love is an extremely complicated topic with this and that and whatever. But I, as the hopeless romantic that I am, rather not hear about it too much. As I just like to be with the person.
You make her laugh and everything feels like it she just gets you. You don't feel on edge and you can let go. You get an unfounded level of happiness. Your mind can't stop spinning around her.
Until the moment things go south. You suddenly start getting scared if she's still into you. Because you realize, she's unreplaceable. You might not ever get her laugh, smile or eyes back. Even though that might seem like surface level interest, you really just miss her.
I guess I'm just really scared. And I fucking hate it. And I fucking hate it. And I fucking hate it.
I wish I could just take a picture of her, to not really lose her forever.
She might have put 10 euro's in my pocket for the fries, but she didn't return my heart.