Ana Catharina, I'm sorry.
Ana, it's me.
I'm sorry, for my behavior. I couldn't live up to your expectations in our romantic relationship. I still have deep rooted hatred for myself and I shouldn't have started a romantic relationship with you in the first place because of that (although you deny the fact we ever had a romantic relationship).
My self-hate made me numb and a people pleaser. This led me to being mentally absent. Which resulted in my lack of empathy and overall communication. You we're clearly unhappy with this fact. I should have worked on myself instead of sacrificing the amazing friendship I had with you. As I still think we had something special, even as friends.
I'm reminded almost everyday the fact that I've lost a good friend. And I will hold this regret for a long time.
I hope you realize I never meant harm. I have definitely made mistakes. And I certainly recognize them, although too late.
Even though you'll never ever read this, I'll say this. I wish you the very best. You have so much potential in your life. You're intelligent, kind hearted and fun. Don't let ANYONE ruin your kindness again, because I know you have it. And I hope you find yourself again and most importantly: place yourself first. You are an important human being.
Find your dreams and follow them.
-Thomas